Joe Borders, MFT
Gender Therapist
Providing Gender Affirming Care
In the Greater Sacramento Area
Since 2009
Welcome to the section of my website dedicated to my work as a gender therapist ^_^
Weather you’re here looking for help for yourself, a teenager, or someone you love who is trans, non-binary, or gender queer, you’ve come to the right place.
About me
I’m a gender therapist who has been working with Trans, non-binary, gender fluid, and other gender expansive clients since 2011. Over my time working as a therapist in the Sacramento area, a good majority of my practice has always been working with trans and gender queer clients. Part of this is because I am gender queer myself, but another part has to do with my approach to therapy.
As a therapist I am very honest, open, genuine, and real with people. There are therapists out there who are stiff, rigid professionals who give little of themselves in session. Maybe they don’t say very much or when working with them you don’t get much of a sense of who they are as a person. This is not me.
I’m very real with my clients, I actively talk with them about what’s going on in their lives. I share my own lived experience when it seems helpful. I commiserate with my clients, tell jokes, and generally tend to be friendly, warm, and open in session.
Navigating the complexities of gender identity and expression can be hard
A big concern I hear people talk about when they’re looking for a gender therapist is that they want to see someone who is knowledgeable and experienced, who wont judge them. It can be scary to open up to someone in therapy, especially when you’re trans or gender queer in some way and have the very real and understandable fear that the person you’re talking to might judge you.
In all therapy, its very important for you to find someone who you feel like you can connect with, who gets you, and who you can build a positive therapeutic relationship with. As a non-binary person myself, and having worked with well over a hundred trans and gender expansive clients, I know a lot about this work, have lived experience, and have helped people with lots of gender related issues such as:
- Exploring gender identity
- Gender expression
- Social transitioning
- Medical transitioning
- Gender dysphoria
- HRT (hormones)
- Coming out
- Surgery letters
- Family rejection
- Binding
- Packing
- Finding community and support
- Bullying
- Choosing to be stealth or visible
- When and how to explain things to cis people
- Political anxiety and fear
Truly knowing and understanding ourselves is important, and gender identity is a part of that.
Just about all therapy and mental health is dependent on us coming to an understanding and acceptance of ourselves and who we are as people. A big part of what makes us who we are is our gender identity and expression. Gender exists on a spectrum and we all fall somewhere on that spectrum, some more to one side than the other, and some of us shift in how we feel about this. All of this is ok and normal! It’s often when we try to shove ourselves into boxes that don’t fit us that we run into trouble.
Sometimes I meet people who feel a sense of urgency, like they need to figure out their gender identity ASAP. This can put you in a really stressful, difficult place. Gender identity is a part of your personality and who you are, its complicated, beautiful, and not something other people can define for you. It’s important that you give yourself time to sort out how you feel about your gender identity, what works for you, what feels good, and what doesn’t. I’m here to help you with that. In therapy I walk with people exploring their gender identity, support them in the challenges that arise, and help them to sort out how they think and feel about their gender identity so they can more fully and truly be themselves.
Let’s talk! ^_^
If any of what you’ve read here speaks to you or you’re looking for a gender therapist for yourself or someone you love, give me a call or email sometime. I offer free 15 minute phone consultations so we can talk a bit about what’s going on and to see if I might be a good fit. You find everything about contacting me on my contact page.
Some stuff I’ve written about gender affirming therapy
I also do a lot of writing on my website about issues that come up in session. Check out some of the stuff I’ve written about gender identity, expression, and gender affirming therapy.