Substances of abuse are always changing in form, potency, and methods of delivery. This blog details a few relatively new trends that you may not be aware of. Do you know about “palcohol”, and dabs (AKA waxes, budders, and honey)?
New Trends in Substance Abuse Read More »
This blog is a follow up to last week’s “Empathy Vs. Sympathy”. It talks about the experience of the person who is pulled to be “the fixer”. Sometimes when someone we love has a problem, we want nothing more than to fix it and make things better for that person. However, sometimes fixing the problem is equivalent to ignoring the emotions surrounding the problem. It is more important to be emotionally attuned to your partner than it is to provide solutions.
Empathy Vs. Sympathy #2 Read More »
A common problem that comes up in couples counseling is when one partner tries to “fix” the other person’s problems rather than listening and providing accurate empathy. It is ok to want to help your partner in any way you can, but if you provide a solution without empathizing, your partner may be left feeling unheard, misunderstood, and unsupported. This can be confusing for the “fixer” who is only trying to help. Receiving accurate empathy from our partner makes us feel heard, supported, and understood. These feelings are a fundamental attachment need that each person needs in order to feel safe and secure in a relationship.
Empathy Vs. Sympathy Read More »
Do you have anxiety or depression in your life? Sometimes when it comes to problems like anxiety and depression, it can be hard to separate the symptoms from the individual. Often times it is the goal of therapy to help people separate themselves from their symptoms, recognize that they don’t define them, and to take the power away from anxiety and depression.
Studies have shown that a child’s ability to tolerate delayed gratification is a significant predictor of success in life. Having the ability to control oneself and put off immediate rewards for greater ones in the future has a definite advantage in our modern world. Unfortunately, more than ever, children are frequently exposed to situations that work against the development of this ability. With constant entertainment at their fingertips, children have much fewer opportunities to grow in this area than they have in the past.
Delayed Gratification Read More »
Our interactions with our caregivers as children have a significant impact on the the people we grow to become. As infants, we are vulnerable and completely dependent on our caretakers. If they are warm, caring, and meet our needs, then we thrive. When they are not, we develop unhealthy attachment styles. In the absence of therapy and/or healthy, reparative relationships, we carry these attachment styles with us throughout our lives. In this way, our early interactions with our caregivers affect how we view and interact with the world as adults.
Childhood Attachment Read More »
Pet ownership can have a variety of positive health benefits. Studies have shown that even having a fish tank in your room can lower your blood pressure. Your pet only cares about the present and its survival needs: food, sleep, play, and love. Sometimes it can be helpful to take your pet’s perspective. Live in the moment and enjoy life.
Pets are Good for Mental Health Read More »
Do you find yourself blaming others a lot? Every human being has a need to express themselves and be heard by others. Often times when this doesn’t happen, people will try to suppress their emotions and not express them to others. This is an uphill battle and typically suppressed emotions will leak out in other ways. One of these ways is blaming. In relationships blaming is a symptom of unexpressed hurts that need to be addressed.
Blaming: A Common Problem in Relationships Read More »
Often times trouble in couples relationships is due to miscommunication of underlying emotions. We are all wired to pay attention to things that can hurt us, and relational pain is no different. When faced with a real or perceived threat in a relationship, many people respond with gut reactions like trying getting the first punch or punching back. A primary goal of couples therapy is to help people to identify and verbalize the primary emotions that are behind those gut reactions. All too often anger is really the result of fear, and people who act defensively or offensively in a relationship are really just trying to keep themselves safe.
Couples Therapy and Communication Read More »
According to the Benjamin Franklin Effect, we tend to become more invested in relationships we put work and effort into. People who struggle with codependency and giving too much of themselves can come across difficulty in relationships that is related to the Benjamin Franklin Effect. By trying to do everything for another person and not allowing him/her to reciprocate, they decrease the opportunities for their partner to become more invested in the relationship. It is important to allow your partner to show they care through acts of kindness.
Codependency and The Benjamin Franklin Effect Read More »