A common problem that comes up in counseling is self esteem. Many people are really hard on themselves and truly believe they are ugly, dumb, etc. This video was created by Dove in 2013. It was a good illustration of the ways reality rarely matches up to our own harsh self criticisms. It’s very common for people to dislike aspects of their appearance. In extreme cases this is referred to as body dysmorphic disorder.
This is a clip from the 2012 movie “The Sessions”. This bit of the movie really spoke to me and felt applicable to a lot of situations I have encountered in counseling. A major focus in a lot of counseling is shame we carry with us. As a therapist I often make the distinction between shame and guilt. Guilt is a normal thing we all feel at occasionally in our lives. It is when we feel badly about something we did or something negative we feel we played a part in. In contrast, shame is a deeply hurtful belief that we are fundamentally flawed, inadequate, a burden, a failure. Guilt is situational, shame is global, persistent, and unhealthy.
In counseling I occasionally tell people that they should do their best to think like their cat or dog every now and then. Cats and Dogs don’t worry about taxes, bills, and how how many followers they have on Instagram. They live in the moment. If they worry at all, cats and dogs probably only concern themselves with being fed, having a place to stay, pooping, and being loved. We overburden ourselves with worries and “shoulds” we carry from our pasts. Do your best to live in the moment. Savor every moment.
Have you ever seen one of those videos where someone walks onto the stage at a singing competition and they’re really shy / apprehensive, but they end up blowing everyone away? I get this kind of situation all the time in counseling: person thinks there’s nothing special about them but they’re amazing at something. So many of us are self conscious and have low self esteem. Something I have learned in being a therapist is that nobody is boring. Everyone has a story to tell and things that interest them that they excel at. This is a blog post I made back in 2013. Originally I just posted one video here but I’ve updated it on 3/27/17 to include lots of videos of like this.
There are small moments in life that can be really inspiring and stick with us. This little boy is learning to ride his bike and offers a speech about practicing, not giving up, and getting better and better as you do it. In counseling we sometimes talk about the ways life has gotten us down, made us pessimistic, afraid, anxious, or doubtful. I love watching children navigate the world in their innocence and lack of inner critic.
This is one of the first posts I made in my counseling blog. (more…)
This was the first post I ever made to my counseling blog. Back in the beginning of 2013, this was originally posted in a category I called “feel good”.